venting...

well, i'm trying a new font. can you tell i'm new at this and it's the little things that thrill me :) this latest post is brought on by the need to release pent up thoughts and words and, not wanting to burden anyone with my ramblings, (who, me? ramble?) i thought it best to type them out to no one in particular. :)

i really do hate to complain. especially when i have been so blessed to actually see, in this lifetime, the undeniable moving of God's hand in our marriage and family life. i mean really... when david and i were married over 10 years ago, living in abject poverty (me, waiting tables, he, finishing school) who would have though that God would bring us so far in such a short amount of time. not to say we've "arrived" by any means but we know that we are where we are because of God's great providence and plan, despite our whining and attempts to sabotage it all...

all that said - i had dinner with two of my most treasured friends last night and we were discussing the topic of relocation... i moved around my whole life. always the new girl. which had it's pros and it's cons... having to make new friends (obviously) but having the chance to start over again with a fresh slate. kinda nice. i am, again, facing an inevitable move. we knew when david got this job that we wouldn't be able to stay in one place for very long... we have been extremely blessed to have been able to stay in houston for such a long stretch. he had 4 years in the houston field office and is in his fourth year on former pres. bush's detail which means we are going to be leaving. i have been sooo reflective lately - getting together with friends from high school, trying to make the most of my time left here, trying not to withdraw myself too soon... it's a defense mechanism i have - not involving myself too closely with people because that makes it easier to leave in the end - that i know has negatively effected me before. it's a huge reason why i have so many acquaintances and "buddies" but very few intimate friends. and i regret that, looking back on my life. i was always working so hard to break into cliques, prove to people i was worthy to befriend, impress people with my quick wit and charm :) that i didn't take the time to forge any deep relationships... i watch my girls now and it warms my heart to see them walk into a chick-fil-a play area and make a fast and firm friend for life :) i think it's because kids don't have all the insecurities and preconceived ideas that we adults have insulated ourselves with over the years. what a shame. if there's anything i've learned over my 33 years it's that we are all just people. that's it! we're all human beings, just the same... despite the neighborhoods in which we live, the vehicles parked in our driveways, level of talent or articulation, in God's eyes we are all the same. created in His image to bring glory and honor to Him. so truly, who are we trying to impress? ugh, i'm so tired of trying to impress people. it's all just shifting sand. nothing upon which one can build anything of substance or fortitude. so here i was planning on venting about our impending move and i end up on this :) i guess i've always felt this pressing need to be who people thought me to be - the singer, the student, the friend, the wife, the mom... and i've never felt like i quite i measured up in any aspect. the scripture that is running through my head right now is when paul asks "who will rescue me from this body of death?" and the answer is simply "JESUS". it's when we run to the end of our emotional and physical resources that He reminds me, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much, that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. He wants us to be free! free from the need to perform, the desire to belong, the misconception that we are not quite "enough"... He just wants us to be free. phew.

The Nutcracker Ballet

We took the girls to see the Nutcracker on Dec. 8th - we had such a fabulous time! They were so excited - the music was wonderful, the costumes were dazzling and it was really amazing... until the 2nd half :) after the excitement and onstage activity of the 1st act, the 2nd consists of lots of solo and duet dancing... after the prince and the sugar plum fairy (or as david referred to them "the sugar plum fairy and that girl" :)) concluded their dance and exited to grand applause, the prince took the stage again, this time by himself. delaney then gives a big huff and says "what is HE doing out here again?!?" it was classic. but we had a great time and enjoyed our family time together most of all :)

this is my feeble attempt at some fancy photography effects :) makenna looks a little bit drugged but it's not too often that i find a picture of myself that i'll post in public so it's on, baby! :)

halloween pics

now i remember why i don't blog so much - i had a great post ready, finally got the pictures where i wanted them (after much trial and even more error) had some witty captions all set and *whammo* it all disappeared after i "previewed" it... so here's the pics, i'm all out of witty... :)

more pictures

i took this picture! :) i was so proud of myself... (eat your heart out, stephen smith - ha ha) on the right you can see the steeple of st. ann's cathedral in kennebunkport, just down the coast from the bush's home... this is the kind of scenery i miss!

another sweet picture of playing in the back yard with dad - david and makenna also loved fishing out there in the early morning and evening times... some great memories! :)

some fun pictures

here are a few pictures to catch you up on things from the past several months :) great shot of david and the girls on colony beach in maine at sunset. could they BE any cuter??

great shot of the girls walking the beach looking for sand dollars - they are such good buddies - it so warms my heart to see them interacting with each other (well, most of the time...)

a nice picture of me and david - not a bad job by makenna :) - next time, i'll take the handful of sand dollars OUT of my front pocket prior to picture taking... love it...

the girls playing softball with dad in our backyard in kennebunkport - so nice to be able to see this shot every morning as opposed to an ornery dog and a big brown fence :)