funny stuff

most of you know my youngest, delaney kate... lately, before bedtime, we've been getting some random, hilarious questions and i just have to write them down before i forget them :)

dkc: "mom, do octopuses have eyes?"
mom: "um, yes i believe they do."
dkc: (laying on her back, looking up at me) "well, when they lay down do their eyes go like this..." (shifting her little beady eyes back and forth, side to side)
mom: "honey, i'm not sure. i'll have to check on that."

dkc: "mom, how do they make shirts? and glass things?"
mom: "well, first they make the fabric and then sew the shirts together. glass things are harder to explain..."

(conversation after discussing the year 1985...)
dkc: "mom, did you have metal back then?"
mom: "metal, as in what you build stuff with?"
dkc: "yeah."
mom: "yeah. we had metal."

dkc: "mom, do we have blood in our eyelids?"
mom: "yes, honey, we do."
dkc: (while tugging at her eyelid...) "well, i can't feel it."

these are the most random questions in the world but i love how the mind of a child works - so inquisitive, everything is fresh and new, and i love that delaney is so eager to know more about her world. i just pray i have some fairly decent answers to give her in response :)

i can't wait to see what God has in store for delaney - and makenna, too, of course. she'll be my next post :) i sure love my girls - they are awesome.

let's be real

i have been struggling lately with detecting inauthenticity... how do you KNOW if someone is the "real deal"? what IS truth? is it what they SAY? or is it what they DO? do we dismiss actions that are seemingly offensive as simply being an unfortunate by-product of our fleshly sin nature and shower them with undeserved grace? or do we demand from each other, as believers, a certain degree of honesty and reality? i have been challenged lately, in my own personal walk with Jesus, to be exactly who i say i am and who i portray myself to be in public as well as in private. are we the Christ-followers others expect us to be in our own living rooms, in our own kitchens, in our cars? what is the basis of your friendship with Christ? is it anchored in the immutable Word of God or in the pages of the latest self-help book? how sweet is your fellowship with Him? (please realize that these questions are more for my own reflection than the conviction of others...) how TRUE is your WORD... do you worship in spirit and in TRUTH? are you a sheep or a goat? will He know me on that blessed day or turn and say "depart from me..."?

where am i in my relationship with Jesus?... is He the axis upon which my whole world rotates or simply a safety net in times of trials and tribulations? do i love Him like i say and sing that i do? do i love people with an intense affection and give myself completely in the service of others? i have come to realize lately that i truly am an unconditionally beloved daughter of my Abba Father... but what do i do with that knowledge? how do i LIVE IT OUT? let's attempt to hold each other to a higher standard - to extend mercy where mercy is due but CHALLENGE each other to live authentically and truthfully in the light of His glory and grace. He deserves ALL of us. every part of our hearts and our minds. ALL of it.

going home!!

i am so excited - i just booked our flights to colorado and houston in june - about 5 weeks from now! the first leg of our trip will be in grand junction, co where my paternal grandparents live and we are having our myers family reunion. it's kind of a bittersweet gathering though... my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago and we will be seeing him for what will probably be one of the last times. he is a wonderful man who has been an amazing grandfather - so many laughs over the years! and thankfully, he and my grandmother, through my dad's influence and our many prayers over the years, both accepted Christ a few years ago so we KNOW we will see them again! what a tremendous blessing! :) so we look forward to seeing them next month and soaking up the fellowship with them...

then we will be flying from denver to houston for a little over a week's visit back home!! i already have numerous lunch/dinner plans set up with sweet friends and family members - we are so anxious to see everyone again!!! while God has blessed us graciously with a wonderful circle of friends here in valparaiso, there truly is no place like home :) the comfort of being with someone who has known you since you were a 16 yr. old twerp (or longer!) and still has love for you is priceless!! we are so anxious to hit some of our favorite hot spots (chick-fil-a, saltgrass, los cucos - any REAL tex mex!!) and just chill... i am soooo ready for a vacay! these past few weeks have been long and emotional - God has been stretching me and refining me - but i am grateful for it and a different person because of it! i have grown to love and appreciate my sweet husband (with whom i will celebrate 12 fabulous years of marriage in a week!!) who has been a rock of support for me - and reminded how blessed i am to have my two sweet daughters who keep me on my toes, keep me laughing and keep me praying for patience and sanity :) i can't wait to spend time with them, too!

so if you are reading this and we have not yet made lunch or dinner plans, email me!! jenifer_crane@hotmail.com i love y'all!! :)

the blessings of friendship

i have given much thought over the past few days, weeks, and months to the many friends i have been blessed to make over my 34 years. as most of you know, i moved a lot both throughout my childhood and adult lifetime as well. and all of it, the joys and the awkwardness, has served to mold me into the person that i am today. i have been so thankful to have tools such as facebook and email which have put me back in touch with people that i never thought i'd be able to communicate with again. most of it fun, some of it painful, but all of it GOOD...

i have been able to refresh relationships with people in grade school from iowa. to think that i knew them at the same age that my daughter is right now is pretty mind-boggling! we've all grown and matured, most have our own families and histories, but we are all the same creepy little kids from the early 80s wearing parachute pants, breakdancing, and teasing our bangs :)

i have found some friends from my junior high years, which i spent in 3 different schools in 2 different states... here's a great facebook reunion story :) a friend of mine from 7th grade contacted me via facebook to apologize for something that happened 20 years ago and it had been bothering her all this time... i lived in a teeny-weeny town in southwest minnesota and the whole school met in one building, so junior highers and high schoolers were grouped together in the halls, etc. there was a girl in HS who didn't like me at all because she thought her ex-boyfriend thought i was cute (really, can you blame him?? ha!) one weekend i was going to spend the night at a friend's house so i packed an overnight bag and stored it in my locker - unfortunately, it didn't have a lock on it. i've always kept a journal and had it that day in my bag. she took it out of my locker, MADE COPIES OF IT and passed it around school!!! it was like a scene out of a movie... i was walking to school monday morning and as i approached the school i could see everyone standing around reading something. MY JOURNAL. heads turned, the whispering started, awkwardness beyond belief... and i don't know about you but my journal in junior high was for the sole purpose of voicing frustrations with friends, writing my crush-o'-the-day's name over and over again and griping about parents :) everyone read it and i had a hard time living that one down. i was humiliated and devastated. thankfully i had a few great friends who stood by me (after i had to apologize for writing stuff about them of course!) and they defended me. it was TOUGH. so now, 20 years later, my classmate felt compelled to apologize because she had been there when the girl (who was never confirmed but i have a pretty good idea who it was...) took my journal out of my locker and made it public. she had felt terrible about not saying anything at the time and she's thought about it often over the years. i, of course, told her that her apology was a blessing and to not give it another thought. it was difficult, as an insecure 12 yr. old, to put that behind me but i did, and i believe it is one of the moments that made me who i am today!

in the middle of 8th grade, we moved to tucson, arizona... great move, made some AMAZING friends, many with whom i am still in contact, but that transition was not without difficulty either! i had played the piano since i was 5, basically self-taught, so i loved music. i wanted to be in the choir and so i auditioned for the choir director. well, she loved my voice and asked if i would want to be in the show choir! i was surprised and honored that she would invite me to do that! however, not everyone was. :( unbeknownst to me, it was a very coveted, competitive group and i, by accepting the invitation, had ousted another girl from "her" spot. SO NOT PRETTY. i had made, once again, a few immediate enemies. it almost made me drop out - i didn't want to make someone so mad and i felt terrible. but it was then when i realized i loved to sing, and loved to perform, and had i dropped out to please a few catty girls i may have missed out on one of the greatest blessings in my life...

in 1990, the summer before my junior year in high school, we moved to houston, tx. i started attending a fabulous private school and, through volleyball 2-a-days (argh!) was able to meet some friends before even starting school. however i, once again, found myself on the black list. :( i had tried out for the show choir, made the group, and was placed with a partner based on height (i guess, that's what i figured) he was a senior, one of the captains of the football team, good-looking, fabulous sense of humor, dating a cheerleader and she did NOT like that one bit! the ironic thing was that i was IN LOVE with his best friend and had no interest in him whatsoever (sorry, man!) one day, not long after starting school, i was called out at the start of my spanish class by a girl and went out into the hallway. there was a little "posse" of 4 girls waiting for me... all flanking the cheerleader who did NOT look happy and she handed me a note (FYI, children, before cell phones and blackberries our only form of communication was the NOTE which was written secretly while you were supposed to be doing classwork, folded intricately and passed discreetly, if you were brave enough, IN class, otherwise in the hallway AFTER class...) which read (a brief synopsis) "you are fat and ugly, no one likes you here, why don't you go back to where you came from..." lovely. she then proceeded to call my house, threatening to burn it down, calling me names repeatedly, etc. oh yes, this really happened. :) again, it has taken me YEARS to get to this place but it has taught me so much about forgiveness and putting the past behind me! have we not ALL made stupid, immature decisions over our lifetimes? (holla!!) i would hope that all the dumb things that i have done over the years would be forgiven and forgotten, which is why i offer the same benefit to others...

honestly, as i write and reflect on all this, i have a smile on my face. :) it seems like the basis for a movie (oh yeah, "mean girls" has already been done!) but it truly has shaped me into the woman and friend i am today! i am fiercely loyal and genuinely grateful, every time i make a transition, for a smiling face and a warm welcome!! and although i have forgiven past offenders, it still makes me wary of "stepping on toes" and i cautiously enter situations, especially regarding singing/music, with great sensitivity. and sadly, even as an adult, i have still found people (although fewer and far-between) who have "issues" with me... but i guess that's all part of being human. i would love to be able to please everyone and avoid conflict at all costs but sadly, it just doesn't happen that way all the time :*( however, i am blessed to say, with all confidence and joy, that whenever i have prayed for friends, prayed that God would send just the right person into my life, He has been SO FAITHFUL in doing just that. (shout out to courtney!) i may have had a few along the road of life who have not responded to me favorably but, for every stinker out there, i have made HUNDREDS of amazing, encouraging, fabulous friendships for which i am so very grateful!!!!

so, if you are reading this, i want to THANK YOU for your GIFT of friendship in my life. i am blessed beyond words to have been touched by you in one way or another... God has been so faithful to me, to US, to have given us the ability to fellowship with one another and it is SWEET. and i am GLAD. and I LOVE YOU!!! :)

it never ceases to amaze me...

...that God would see fit to use people of limited means and stature to carry out His ultimate plan in this world. that God would somehow want to involve ME in that plan is mind-boggling... a lot of days i just can't seem to see past my humanness, my corruptible flesh, to fully grasp the big picture. i have always thought (incorrectly, i might add) that there must be something else i need to DO to gain access to God, to positively influence Him enough to find me worthy of blessing... the concepts of unconditional love and unmerited favor are often lost on me. we tend to assign human qualities to the Almighty, Omniscient, Omnipresent God of the Universe - but He is beyond all that! His love for me knows no end and is perfect. Isaiah 30:18-21 says this "Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. (i love that image) For the LORD is a God of justice, blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" what a beautiful image of God - to think that He "longs to be gracious" to us... He is not sitting, waiting for our next failure with a massive lightning bolt in His hand, ready to strike. He is rising to show us compassion. He is Abba Father. He is a jealous God but I believe right now God is calling me to focus on His great love for me. And for me to fall in love with Him so deeply that every aspect of my life reflects that passionate pursuit.



Psalm 103 is a perfect picture of God's great love for us... verses 8-14 especially...

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."



so remember with me today, when the enemy tries to whisper in your ear that you are not worthy, that you are undeserving of this great mystery of grace, that God has told you, in His word, that you are unconditionally loved and has promised you His mighty right hand to uphold you and to protect you.



"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Lamentations 3:22-26



my prayer for all of us today is that God would continue to reveal to each of us, in the deepest, innermost parts of our beings how very much He loves us and how precious we are in His sight. and i pray that it will then inspire us to be the compassionate, unconditionally loving, merciful, grace-giving women, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters that He is calling us to be...

due to popular demand...

i thought i'd post some more pics from our fabulous summers in maine :) since i'm sitting home, snowed in under a good 6 inches of the white stuff, it's nice to reminisce of good times in warmer climes :) so here goes...

i love this picture of the girls and pres. bush - it looks like they're just sitting there chatting with their grandfather :) every other year the bushes host a summer barbecue for the agents and their families at their home in kennebunkport. our first summer in maine, 2005, was by far the most exciting :) when we got to the picnic, agents and their families were chatting and milling around, people were taking turns approaching the president and mrs. bush saying hello, pretty informal setting near their pool outside walker's point, their family home in kennebunkport... when we walked over to greet them, makenna noticed other agents' kids were swimming in the pool. well, guess what? this mom forgot their swimsuits! so, in front of the president, makenna starts FREAKING OUT. (the girls are 5 and 2) i am doing my best to maintain composure as my daughter is going nutso in front of the former president of the united states :) i'm like "it's okay, honey, we'll go swimming later!" in that high, sing-songy, stressed out voice :) well, president bush senses my distress and says "well, i think we may have an extra suit in the pool shed if you want to look" and i said "oh, no sir, thank you, it's okay..." and he insisted we go check it out... so makenna, president bush and i go to the pool shed, a little 10x10 sauna-type room near the pool, and start sifting through the swimsuits hanging in there. now, i know you've probably seen the old dana carvey SNL skits with him portraying president bush and his voice and let me tell you - he's spot on. :) "what about this one?... would this one work?... how about this?..." so so sweet - unfortunately, every suit he held up was a women's size 10 or larger - nothing appropriate for a 5 yr. old twerp :) after about 10 mins., one of the other agents' kids knocked on the door and had an extra suit for makenna - thankfully, david had a better offer for her. he took both girls out on the secret service speedboat, the one that accompanies pres. bush on his ocean excursions, and they were fired up to go for a boat ride. i, personally, was not so i had the opportunity to sit by the pool with the former president and a couple other wives for about 30 mins. just shooting the breeze... we talked about the aggies, the astros, all kinds of fun stuff, and i just remember thinking "this man has sat with world leaders and dignitaries and here he is, sitting with me!" it was surreal, to say the least :) after the girls and david got back we had a few more photo opportunities, a fun tour of their house by mrs. bush and some great food. it was absolutely an afternoon to remember :)

can you see the stress on my face as president bush is inviting makenna, in an effort to assuage her, to sit on the diving board with him?? love it!

i don't know why this pic won't turn but i'm not that computer savvy so it'll have to do - and it's one of my fave shots so i HAD to include it :) this is the president helping the girls (makenna and my friend's daughter, lauren) get some ice cream bars out of the cooler - again, makenna had NO CLUE as to who was standing next to her - she was just thrilled that he was getting her some ice cream :)

i absolutely adore this picture - as i have said before, these two people are thoroughly genuine and wonderful - i cannot express how humbled i am to have been given the chance to meet them and interact with them. there are so many people in this world who disrespect their family and spew hatred towards them but they are loved by so many more, i am convinced of that!! our nation is greater having been led by such amazing men of conviction, courage and integrity. i am sad to see current pres. bush's term coming to an end - have i agreed with him on everything? no. do i think he could have done more? yes. but do i believe, with every ounce of my being, that he always made his decisions based on the foundation of his faith and for the honor and protection of our country!

so forgive my rambling... after watching the commissioning of the George H. W. Bush naval carrier today, an event which david was able to attend with his dad, it has made me nostalgic and so grateful for the chance to witness history from a vantage point that most people don't have - and imagine how many stories david has after spending years with them, on a daily basis! :) lots of fun memories... what a blessing!