the blessings of friendship

i have given much thought over the past few days, weeks, and months to the many friends i have been blessed to make over my 34 years. as most of you know, i moved a lot both throughout my childhood and adult lifetime as well. and all of it, the joys and the awkwardness, has served to mold me into the person that i am today. i have been so thankful to have tools such as facebook and email which have put me back in touch with people that i never thought i'd be able to communicate with again. most of it fun, some of it painful, but all of it GOOD...

i have been able to refresh relationships with people in grade school from iowa. to think that i knew them at the same age that my daughter is right now is pretty mind-boggling! we've all grown and matured, most have our own families and histories, but we are all the same creepy little kids from the early 80s wearing parachute pants, breakdancing, and teasing our bangs :)

i have found some friends from my junior high years, which i spent in 3 different schools in 2 different states... here's a great facebook reunion story :) a friend of mine from 7th grade contacted me via facebook to apologize for something that happened 20 years ago and it had been bothering her all this time... i lived in a teeny-weeny town in southwest minnesota and the whole school met in one building, so junior highers and high schoolers were grouped together in the halls, etc. there was a girl in HS who didn't like me at all because she thought her ex-boyfriend thought i was cute (really, can you blame him?? ha!) one weekend i was going to spend the night at a friend's house so i packed an overnight bag and stored it in my locker - unfortunately, it didn't have a lock on it. i've always kept a journal and had it that day in my bag. she took it out of my locker, MADE COPIES OF IT and passed it around school!!! it was like a scene out of a movie... i was walking to school monday morning and as i approached the school i could see everyone standing around reading something. MY JOURNAL. heads turned, the whispering started, awkwardness beyond belief... and i don't know about you but my journal in junior high was for the sole purpose of voicing frustrations with friends, writing my crush-o'-the-day's name over and over again and griping about parents :) everyone read it and i had a hard time living that one down. i was humiliated and devastated. thankfully i had a few great friends who stood by me (after i had to apologize for writing stuff about them of course!) and they defended me. it was TOUGH. so now, 20 years later, my classmate felt compelled to apologize because she had been there when the girl (who was never confirmed but i have a pretty good idea who it was...) took my journal out of my locker and made it public. she had felt terrible about not saying anything at the time and she's thought about it often over the years. i, of course, told her that her apology was a blessing and to not give it another thought. it was difficult, as an insecure 12 yr. old, to put that behind me but i did, and i believe it is one of the moments that made me who i am today!

in the middle of 8th grade, we moved to tucson, arizona... great move, made some AMAZING friends, many with whom i am still in contact, but that transition was not without difficulty either! i had played the piano since i was 5, basically self-taught, so i loved music. i wanted to be in the choir and so i auditioned for the choir director. well, she loved my voice and asked if i would want to be in the show choir! i was surprised and honored that she would invite me to do that! however, not everyone was. :( unbeknownst to me, it was a very coveted, competitive group and i, by accepting the invitation, had ousted another girl from "her" spot. SO NOT PRETTY. i had made, once again, a few immediate enemies. it almost made me drop out - i didn't want to make someone so mad and i felt terrible. but it was then when i realized i loved to sing, and loved to perform, and had i dropped out to please a few catty girls i may have missed out on one of the greatest blessings in my life...

in 1990, the summer before my junior year in high school, we moved to houston, tx. i started attending a fabulous private school and, through volleyball 2-a-days (argh!) was able to meet some friends before even starting school. however i, once again, found myself on the black list. :( i had tried out for the show choir, made the group, and was placed with a partner based on height (i guess, that's what i figured) he was a senior, one of the captains of the football team, good-looking, fabulous sense of humor, dating a cheerleader and she did NOT like that one bit! the ironic thing was that i was IN LOVE with his best friend and had no interest in him whatsoever (sorry, man!) one day, not long after starting school, i was called out at the start of my spanish class by a girl and went out into the hallway. there was a little "posse" of 4 girls waiting for me... all flanking the cheerleader who did NOT look happy and she handed me a note (FYI, children, before cell phones and blackberries our only form of communication was the NOTE which was written secretly while you were supposed to be doing classwork, folded intricately and passed discreetly, if you were brave enough, IN class, otherwise in the hallway AFTER class...) which read (a brief synopsis) "you are fat and ugly, no one likes you here, why don't you go back to where you came from..." lovely. she then proceeded to call my house, threatening to burn it down, calling me names repeatedly, etc. oh yes, this really happened. :) again, it has taken me YEARS to get to this place but it has taught me so much about forgiveness and putting the past behind me! have we not ALL made stupid, immature decisions over our lifetimes? (holla!!) i would hope that all the dumb things that i have done over the years would be forgiven and forgotten, which is why i offer the same benefit to others...

honestly, as i write and reflect on all this, i have a smile on my face. :) it seems like the basis for a movie (oh yeah, "mean girls" has already been done!) but it truly has shaped me into the woman and friend i am today! i am fiercely loyal and genuinely grateful, every time i make a transition, for a smiling face and a warm welcome!! and although i have forgiven past offenders, it still makes me wary of "stepping on toes" and i cautiously enter situations, especially regarding singing/music, with great sensitivity. and sadly, even as an adult, i have still found people (although fewer and far-between) who have "issues" with me... but i guess that's all part of being human. i would love to be able to please everyone and avoid conflict at all costs but sadly, it just doesn't happen that way all the time :*( however, i am blessed to say, with all confidence and joy, that whenever i have prayed for friends, prayed that God would send just the right person into my life, He has been SO FAITHFUL in doing just that. (shout out to courtney!) i may have had a few along the road of life who have not responded to me favorably but, for every stinker out there, i have made HUNDREDS of amazing, encouraging, fabulous friendships for which i am so very grateful!!!!

so, if you are reading this, i want to THANK YOU for your GIFT of friendship in my life. i am blessed beyond words to have been touched by you in one way or another... God has been so faithful to me, to US, to have given us the ability to fellowship with one another and it is SWEET. and i am GLAD. and I LOVE YOU!!! :)