soooo behind!

well, so much has been happening but not anything that really deserves documentation & certainly no pictures to accompany all of it :) david left for china 10 days ago and, of course, that's when the germs came to find us :) when all was said and done, delaney and i both got a round of antibiotics and seem to be on the mend - of course it took me 2 hours and 5 different pharmacies to hunt down the correct antibiotic for delaney one night... thankfully my sister had come down to visit and got to babysit the whole time! i finally found it at 9 pm at the walgreen's on grand parkway & fry (about 30 mins. from our house) and could only get it partially filled! argh :( my sickness put a slight damper on my fitness efforts but i've managed to squeeze in 2 sessions with my trainer so far! in the last month i've only lost about 5 lbs. (slow & steady wins the race!) but feel much better in my clothes! :) the aforementioned "contest" has been cancelled - when the scale didn't budge for a good 2 1/2 weeks & our frustrations were growing we decided that it was best not to focus on the numbers anyway - so i forked over the money for a trainer because i decided that i'm not getting any younger (34 this summer - hard to believe!) and the girls are both going to be in school next year which officially denies me the "i had just a baby" excuse :) and it's finally something i want to do for ME. as mom's we lose ourselves so often - not that it's a totally bad thing because i know that God has called us, as mothers, to a life of sacrifice and servanthood, but every once in a while it's good to remember that we are also women, wives, girlfriends... not just housekeepers! maybe if i get brave i'll post a picture or two - my goal is to actually be comfortable with having my picture taken... something that has eluded me since my 1st pregnancy! over 8 years ago! (again, hard to believe!)

so, not a real deep, meaningful post :) just enough to let you know we are alive (daddy gets home sunday night - phew!) and, for the most part, doing well! :) big hugs to each of my sweet friends who happen to check in on us - love you!

holy cow! i did it!

after much trial and error it appears that i have successfully changed the template on my blog!

i'm not totally in love with the brown but i'm too scared to screw around with it now :) you guys have such snazzy blogs & i wanted to be cool like you all - i'm just starting to research the whole digital scrapbooking thing but whenever there is talk about widgets, etc. my brain starts to short out - seriously, there's smoke and stuff :)

so i am going to bask in the glory here of my fancy new blog - it's the little things, you know... :)

i'm just a girl who can't say no...

i keep hearing that song from "oklahoma" echoing in my head lately :)

we decided to get makenna registered for softball recently - some friends of ours from church have a daughter in makenna's grade who plays and we thought it would be fun for them to be on the same team! then we found out that scott (her dad) would be coaching the team! so fun! so he asked if david would be interested in helping out as an ass't coach. well, not wanting to commit my sweet husband to anything without his consent (after learning the hard way!) i said i would ask him about it... well, david couldn't make that much of a commitment to the team due to scheduling conflicts, etc. so i had to tell scott, sorry but he can't do it. and i was very proud of myself for having the strength and fortitude to decline politely :) so then, needing to have a valid explanation FOR my saying "no", i say "really, david never played baseball - he was more of a football & basketball guy. in fact, i have more experience playing than he does! i played softball for years growing up!" now, how is it that my mouth is constantly moving faster than my brain? because as soon as i said that i knew the question was coming... "oh really? well do you want to help coach then?" and what did i say to that? (all together now...) "SURE!" :)

so here i am - coach jen - the ass't coach to the west houston girls softball team "the static".

we had our first practice today and it went pretty well! although there is already one girl who has pushed every one of my buttons... so stinkin' obnoxious - and, no, it wasn't makenna! :)
this is the first softball team makenna has been on and she is going to be great! she is so naturally athletic and competitive and smart (which she gets from her daddy - for sure!) i'll be posting pics and updates from our season as it progresses - it should be worth a few laughs :)

pray that God blesses my inability to decline gracefully :) and that it will be an awesome time of bonding and memory-making for me and my sweet girl. our first game is feb. 23rd - go static!!!

it ain't rocket science, folks!

i hesitate even blogging about this because i find it petty and insignificant in light of the tests and challenges our dear friends in Christ have been facing lately... but starting today, my sister and my sweet friend, traci, are going to be "competing" in a "biggest loser" contest between the three of us :) this whole weight loss thing has been looming over me for, oh, about 8 years now :) and to be quite honest with you, i've only recently become less obsessed with it. i am praying it's a mark of maturity, not complacency! :) i realize that my life is rich and full of blessings despite the number on the tag in my jeans :) but also, in an effort to become truly healthy, i need to pay better attention to my food intake and calorie expenditure.

it never ceases to amaze me how people will go on and on about how they CANNOT lose weight on their own, no diets EVER WORK, it must be genetic, yada yada yada... so they opt to have gastric bypass surgery. well, guess what genius :), all that surgery does is reduce the size of your stomach so you take in less food - that's why you lose weight. less food! it reminds me of one of my dad's sayings "farther, faster, a little less time at the table" :) that's all that weight loss boils down to! burning more calories than you put in your body... it ain't rocket science - and yet we as americans spend billions of dollars trying to find the quick fix. but nothing worth having is ever reached by a quick fix!

it makes me think of my spiritual life - how many times have i pleaded with God to change me... my thoughts, my words, my actions... but change, in and of itself, is a daily process of surrender and it is gradual, not immediate. He absolutely could change me over night - it is not beyond His power to do so - but what would i have learned in the process? what would that teach me about Him and His unfailing, unconditional love for me? i must perservere through the process, feel the relentless heat of the refiner's fire, to come through it all glowing and brilliant. i must learn to love God more than i love the food... to make Him my focus and my sustenance. i think that's why there is such a struggle with eating disorders, weight issues, etc. it's a literal metaphor of our spiritual hunger and our desire to be filled. but we have to fill our hearts and our bodies with things that will sustain us, cause us good and not harm.

so, all that being said, today marks the day for me to stop loving the food and start loving God more. to put God's holy temple (my body!) and the maintenance of it before my selfish, pleasure-seeking, traitorous flesh! to make this more than obsessing about numbers and measurements... to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,when you lie down and when you get up." Deut. 6:5-7

and maybe, if we do these things, loving Him with everything that we have, there won't be much more room for dwelling on and obsessing over things that are of no eternal significance!

two amazing families

a quick post to encourage you to check out our friends' blog... dusty & kenzie stanfield are friends of ours from our sunday school class at second baptist - they have a son named deacon & kenzie gave birth to their 2nd son, maddox, yesterday... sadly, at 18 weeks in utero he was diagnosed with trisomy 18 & spina bifida - so they have known that his life would be brief , yet blessed. he lived only a minute or two but his story will touch your heart. you will be so encouraged to read kenzie's posts - the testimony that they have is amazing.

also, a sweet couple from our sunday school class at bear creek baptist, travis & jennifer black, discovered some earth-shattering news the night of dec. 15th... travis had a brain tumor the size of a fist at his brain stem. they successfully removed 100% of the tumor but his pathology report came back that it was malignant, grade 3. their journey of faith has inspired me and i know it will you, too...

please keep both of these sweet families in your prayers as their battles are ongoing. thanks friends. love you.

makenna's big trip!

my fearless 7 yr. old took her first trip on an airplane BY HERSELF! :) she has been talking about going to visit her aunt sisi (my sister, jessica) in dallas and we finally found the time to do it during our christmas (oh, sorry - WINTER) vacation :) she flew southwest and they did a wonderful job taking care of her and ensuring her safety. you have to fill out paperwork and show identification when taking them to the gate and picking them up. so i had no worries at all regarding her security... but when you see the plane take off, knowing that big piece of metal hurtling through the sky is holding your little baby... that's tough :( the flight is only 55 mins. long so she was landing in dallas before i even got home from dropping her off! pretty funny! she met new friends and had a wonderful time playing her nintendo DS and chatting away, i'm sure. :) it is just mind-boggling that my little baby is now so fiercely independent and self-assured. it seems like just yesterday i was obsessing about how many ounces she was eating and how many poopy diapers she was producing... i used to think that it would get "easier" once she was walking... "easier" once she was talking (wow, what was i thinking there...) and FOR SURE "easier" once she started school (HA!)... but it seems as though the things that were so significant and all-encompassing back then are barely even blips on the radar right now - replaced with bigger, deeper issues that involve character-building and spiritual growth! i just keep praying that God will continue to equip me, as He has over the past 8 years, to be the mom that both my girls need me to be... i continue to marvel at the fact that God has entrusted me with these two precious little girls - they are so awesome.

i pray for each of my sweet mommy friends out there - if you are having "one of those days", stop right now and give thanks for your precious babies - even if they are pulling on your pants leg and screaming right now :) - this time we have with them is sooo very short! i am becoming painfully more aware of that with every passing day... you know, sending kids off on airplanes and stuff like that :) love you guys!

venting...

well, i'm trying a new font. can you tell i'm new at this and it's the little things that thrill me :) this latest post is brought on by the need to release pent up thoughts and words and, not wanting to burden anyone with my ramblings, (who, me? ramble?) i thought it best to type them out to no one in particular. :)

i really do hate to complain. especially when i have been so blessed to actually see, in this lifetime, the undeniable moving of God's hand in our marriage and family life. i mean really... when david and i were married over 10 years ago, living in abject poverty (me, waiting tables, he, finishing school) who would have though that God would bring us so far in such a short amount of time. not to say we've "arrived" by any means but we know that we are where we are because of God's great providence and plan, despite our whining and attempts to sabotage it all...

all that said - i had dinner with two of my most treasured friends last night and we were discussing the topic of relocation... i moved around my whole life. always the new girl. which had it's pros and it's cons... having to make new friends (obviously) but having the chance to start over again with a fresh slate. kinda nice. i am, again, facing an inevitable move. we knew when david got this job that we wouldn't be able to stay in one place for very long... we have been extremely blessed to have been able to stay in houston for such a long stretch. he had 4 years in the houston field office and is in his fourth year on former pres. bush's detail which means we are going to be leaving. i have been sooo reflective lately - getting together with friends from high school, trying to make the most of my time left here, trying not to withdraw myself too soon... it's a defense mechanism i have - not involving myself too closely with people because that makes it easier to leave in the end - that i know has negatively effected me before. it's a huge reason why i have so many acquaintances and "buddies" but very few intimate friends. and i regret that, looking back on my life. i was always working so hard to break into cliques, prove to people i was worthy to befriend, impress people with my quick wit and charm :) that i didn't take the time to forge any deep relationships... i watch my girls now and it warms my heart to see them walk into a chick-fil-a play area and make a fast and firm friend for life :) i think it's because kids don't have all the insecurities and preconceived ideas that we adults have insulated ourselves with over the years. what a shame. if there's anything i've learned over my 33 years it's that we are all just people. that's it! we're all human beings, just the same... despite the neighborhoods in which we live, the vehicles parked in our driveways, level of talent or articulation, in God's eyes we are all the same. created in His image to bring glory and honor to Him. so truly, who are we trying to impress? ugh, i'm so tired of trying to impress people. it's all just shifting sand. nothing upon which one can build anything of substance or fortitude. so here i was planning on venting about our impending move and i end up on this :) i guess i've always felt this pressing need to be who people thought me to be - the singer, the student, the friend, the wife, the mom... and i've never felt like i quite i measured up in any aspect. the scripture that is running through my head right now is when paul asks "who will rescue me from this body of death?" and the answer is simply "JESUS". it's when we run to the end of our emotional and physical resources that He reminds me, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much, that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. He wants us to be free! free from the need to perform, the desire to belong, the misconception that we are not quite "enough"... He just wants us to be free. phew.