it never ceases to amaze me...

...that God would see fit to use people of limited means and stature to carry out His ultimate plan in this world. that God would somehow want to involve ME in that plan is mind-boggling... a lot of days i just can't seem to see past my humanness, my corruptible flesh, to fully grasp the big picture. i have always thought (incorrectly, i might add) that there must be something else i need to DO to gain access to God, to positively influence Him enough to find me worthy of blessing... the concepts of unconditional love and unmerited favor are often lost on me. we tend to assign human qualities to the Almighty, Omniscient, Omnipresent God of the Universe - but He is beyond all that! His love for me knows no end and is perfect. Isaiah 30:18-21 says this "Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. (i love that image) For the LORD is a God of justice, blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" what a beautiful image of God - to think that He "longs to be gracious" to us... He is not sitting, waiting for our next failure with a massive lightning bolt in His hand, ready to strike. He is rising to show us compassion. He is Abba Father. He is a jealous God but I believe right now God is calling me to focus on His great love for me. And for me to fall in love with Him so deeply that every aspect of my life reflects that passionate pursuit.



Psalm 103 is a perfect picture of God's great love for us... verses 8-14 especially...

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."



so remember with me today, when the enemy tries to whisper in your ear that you are not worthy, that you are undeserving of this great mystery of grace, that God has told you, in His word, that you are unconditionally loved and has promised you His mighty right hand to uphold you and to protect you.



"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Lamentations 3:22-26



my prayer for all of us today is that God would continue to reveal to each of us, in the deepest, innermost parts of our beings how very much He loves us and how precious we are in His sight. and i pray that it will then inspire us to be the compassionate, unconditionally loving, merciful, grace-giving women, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters that He is calling us to be...

due to popular demand...

i thought i'd post some more pics from our fabulous summers in maine :) since i'm sitting home, snowed in under a good 6 inches of the white stuff, it's nice to reminisce of good times in warmer climes :) so here goes...

i love this picture of the girls and pres. bush - it looks like they're just sitting there chatting with their grandfather :) every other year the bushes host a summer barbecue for the agents and their families at their home in kennebunkport. our first summer in maine, 2005, was by far the most exciting :) when we got to the picnic, agents and their families were chatting and milling around, people were taking turns approaching the president and mrs. bush saying hello, pretty informal setting near their pool outside walker's point, their family home in kennebunkport... when we walked over to greet them, makenna noticed other agents' kids were swimming in the pool. well, guess what? this mom forgot their swimsuits! so, in front of the president, makenna starts FREAKING OUT. (the girls are 5 and 2) i am doing my best to maintain composure as my daughter is going nutso in front of the former president of the united states :) i'm like "it's okay, honey, we'll go swimming later!" in that high, sing-songy, stressed out voice :) well, president bush senses my distress and says "well, i think we may have an extra suit in the pool shed if you want to look" and i said "oh, no sir, thank you, it's okay..." and he insisted we go check it out... so makenna, president bush and i go to the pool shed, a little 10x10 sauna-type room near the pool, and start sifting through the swimsuits hanging in there. now, i know you've probably seen the old dana carvey SNL skits with him portraying president bush and his voice and let me tell you - he's spot on. :) "what about this one?... would this one work?... how about this?..." so so sweet - unfortunately, every suit he held up was a women's size 10 or larger - nothing appropriate for a 5 yr. old twerp :) after about 10 mins., one of the other agents' kids knocked on the door and had an extra suit for makenna - thankfully, david had a better offer for her. he took both girls out on the secret service speedboat, the one that accompanies pres. bush on his ocean excursions, and they were fired up to go for a boat ride. i, personally, was not so i had the opportunity to sit by the pool with the former president and a couple other wives for about 30 mins. just shooting the breeze... we talked about the aggies, the astros, all kinds of fun stuff, and i just remember thinking "this man has sat with world leaders and dignitaries and here he is, sitting with me!" it was surreal, to say the least :) after the girls and david got back we had a few more photo opportunities, a fun tour of their house by mrs. bush and some great food. it was absolutely an afternoon to remember :)

can you see the stress on my face as president bush is inviting makenna, in an effort to assuage her, to sit on the diving board with him?? love it!

i don't know why this pic won't turn but i'm not that computer savvy so it'll have to do - and it's one of my fave shots so i HAD to include it :) this is the president helping the girls (makenna and my friend's daughter, lauren) get some ice cream bars out of the cooler - again, makenna had NO CLUE as to who was standing next to her - she was just thrilled that he was getting her some ice cream :)

i absolutely adore this picture - as i have said before, these two people are thoroughly genuine and wonderful - i cannot express how humbled i am to have been given the chance to meet them and interact with them. there are so many people in this world who disrespect their family and spew hatred towards them but they are loved by so many more, i am convinced of that!! our nation is greater having been led by such amazing men of conviction, courage and integrity. i am sad to see current pres. bush's term coming to an end - have i agreed with him on everything? no. do i think he could have done more? yes. but do i believe, with every ounce of my being, that he always made his decisions based on the foundation of his faith and for the honor and protection of our country!

so forgive my rambling... after watching the commissioning of the George H. W. Bush naval carrier today, an event which david was able to attend with his dad, it has made me nostalgic and so grateful for the chance to witness history from a vantage point that most people don't have - and imagine how many stories david has after spending years with them, on a daily basis! :) lots of fun memories... what a blessing!

Life in the Great White North!

greetings from Valparaiso, IN!! we made it! (barely...) in a nut shell, numerous vehicle problems nearly drove us crazy but we remained confident that God had some big plans for us and satan was doing his best to discourage us from them! we closed on the house on dec. 6th and started moving in on the 9th - we were so thankful for the moving company (the head guy was Bob, about 5'5", 85 lbs. who closely resembled willie nelson, but that sucker could pack a box like no one's business) however i am still up to my neck in boxes and paper!! argh! the house is beginning to feel more like home every day... the girls started school on dec. 11th and absolutely LOVE IT! it's about 1/4 the size of their school in katy (thank GOD!) and the teachers are wonderful - the kids were so excited about the new girls - i told makenna and delaney that in a smaller town it's a much bigger deal to have new kids in your class, not like their old school where kids came and went on a daily basis! they were welcomed with open arms! they've already made a few friends on our street, too, and played outside with them in the snow until their cheeks were bright pink with cold! :) and they have LOVED the snow!!! such an adventure! we have a little creek that runs by our house so they love to go out back and dig around near the creek, in the snow, for hidden treasures :) we had a few warmer days over the past week (upper 50s - balmy!!) and some rain which washed away the majority of our snow but, just this morning, woke up to a gorgeous, steady snowfall which seems to be piling up as we speak! beautiful, fluffy snow - our neighbors probably think i'm a peeping tom cause i stand at the windows and watch it constantly :) oh well. :) i've discovered that i CAN drive in the snow, it's the ICE that poses a problem! as long as we go slow and follow the tracks of the other cars i can get to the grocery store and back without incident :) so far...

we found a new church, too! it's a nazarene church that has amazing worship and the pastor is dynamic and a real people person... we still have questions about the core beliefs of the nazarene church but everything we have read and seen so far totally match up with scripture and we love the message, the people and the kids programs, too! here's the church website if you're interested... http://www.valponaz.org/ i already signed up for a beth moore bible study in january (can't go wrong with beth!!) and the girls are getting involved with their kids program on wednesday nights while mom does choir! the music pastor (worship in arts pastor, as he is called!) is a young guy and super-duper talented!! totally blown away by his enthusiasm and talent and humility in worship! and his wife is precious!! they have two little boys, she works with the childrens worship, and they live near us too - so i think i have made my first official friend! :)

wow, now i really sound like a nerd. it's been tough to be away from friends and family, especially during the Christmas season but we are so blessed by our little family and have thoroughly enjoyed spending time together over the past few weeks! i made my first turkey on Christmas Day and it turned out great! i was sooo proud of myself!! :) some yummy sides rounded out the meal perfectly - good times, good eats! the girls finally got a Wii and we have all been suffering from "Wii shoulder" for the past few days :) it's a tough game! of course, david says that i don't have to get quite so into it for it to work but i'm all or nothing, you know? swinging that tennis racket, swinging the bat, it's serious stuff! ;)

well, it's the last day of 2008 which always causes us (well, me at least!) to look back and reminisce over the past year... our last summer in maine (so sad!), delaney starting kindergarten and being promptly promoted to 1st grade, makenna having a great fall in school becoming her class student council representative (she was so excited!) and, last but certainly not least, the big move to indiana! we are so excited to see what God has in store for this next year and i will do my best to keep you updated :) which reminds me, here's our new address...

890 Dickens Lane, Valparaiso, IN 46383

we love all of you and look forward to sharing the next year with you! hugs!!!

MOVING DAY!!!

it's hard to believe that we have reached the actual date - after much deliberation, schedule shifting, tears and prayer it is here! this is, officially, my last night in this house. our very first house. how proud we were to have built it from the ground up. it was OURS, no one else's. the house where makenna first slept in her big girl bed (and only fell out a few times). the house in which i emerged from our master bathroom, fighting back tears and laughter, trying to decide the best way to tell david he was going to be a daddy again. the house we brought that same, aforementioned bundle of joy home to and made her first bedroom our walk-in closet (not because we didn't have enough room but because mommy didn't want to walk upstairs 10 times a night). lots of birthday parties, 6 christmases, a few tears, even more giggles, nights missing my husband, nights wishing he would go on a trip already, 2 knee surgeries, family gatherings, medical mysteries and missed diagnoses, lots of prayer and LOVE. sweet, sweet memories... all a distinct reminder that as beautiful as our past has been, it is nothing compared to what God has in store for us. i think of all the changes that have taken place over the past 6 1/2 years - some effortless, some painful, all life-altering. the changes in the girls, in me, in US. pretty amazing. to think that 6 years from now i will be 40, my girls 14 and 11 - it seems like an alternate universe :) but i am confident that God is going before us, paving the way, weaving each experience into the other... i am blessed and honored to have had the time here that we've been given - we truly have more than we deserve - thank you for being a part of it. i am excited and anxious to start our newest chapter and already looking forward to coming back to visit :) jeremiah 29:11-13 - my favorite passage from high school, growing even more relevant with each passing day... "'for I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me, and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" so often we remember the first part of the verses - focusing more on the outcome than the process - while He wants us to focus on the end result the only way to get there is by calling on Him and seeking Him with all our hearts. fervently, relentlessly, achingly. i pray God gives us that unquenchable thirst for Him, His word, His goodness... may we never be satisfied with mediocrity. never fall into complacency. God bless you my sweet mommy friends - you are a blessing to me!

Further Developments

hey friends, just a quick update :) david and i head up to chicago this weekend for our househunting trip - we have been scouring the real estate sites online and have found quite a few homes which look good. i have been battling mixed emotions the past few weeks - knowing that once we head up there and pick out a house this will all be REAL. right now it's just an idea, a topic of conversation amongst friends and family - but once we head up there, it's reality! i am excited - confident that this move coincides with God's will for our lives but that doesn't mean it's without sadness or sentimentalism... definitely looking forward but, with great nostalgia, reflecting on all the memories and growth that have taken place over the past 18 years i've been in texas... hard to believe - i still feel like that goofy 16 yr. old kid from time to time :) and yet, with a strength and confidence i never had in my early years, excited to step into the great unknown, assured that God has already blazed the trail ahead of us... how awesome is that?

so i will let you know how the hunt is going - pray for david and i to be united in our decision making process - neither of us are too high-maintenance so we're pretty much on the same page so far :) we're excited about the school district up there (brief side note - david will be working in downtown chicago but we will reside in NW indiana...) the elementary schools are fantastic so we are really excited about the girls experiencing schools which are not overcrowded and limited in their capabilities - they've known no different :(

thanks for your friendship and support - you are a blessing to me!!!

First day of first grade!

sheesh! i knew this day was coming but the reality of it happening so soon has me all emotional and stuff :) last week my little one, Delaney, took a test to promote to the 1st grade. we had gotten a call from her principal (a good friend of mine and awesome Godly woman) who said that they don't offer the testing a whole lot but wanted us to pray about it for delaney... so we called david's dad, who has his doctorate in education and has been both a principal and superintendent in the texas school system for 30 years, and he, knowing delaney and her ability and temperament, suggested that we have her tested. i also called and spoke with an assistant superintendent in the school district to which we will be transferring in indiana - they would honor the transfer and enroll her as a 1st grader. he also explained that currently they do not offer full-day kindergarten (you can sign up for it but due to funding issues and availability you must pay extra fees and it is not guaranteed that there would be a spot mid-year...) so we knew that we couldn't keep her in full day kinder and then, when we move, take her down to a half day - she would be bored out of her mind! so, after much prayer and petition, we agreed to have her tested, confident that were she to pass the test she would be able to thrive in 1st grade. i got the call from the school counselor yesterday and she said that laney would be promoted the next day! eek!

now i know that there are varying views on promotion and i appreciate that you must make the decision based on each individual student - what is right for one may not be right for the next. and, as a mom, i have been going back and forth over the pros and cons for the past 24 hours... but based on the wise counsel we received, the desire & ability to learn that delaney has exhibited over the past 5 years, and, ultimately, the test scores, we are confident we've made the right choice for her and for our family. just as there are different parenting views from day one (bottle or breast, back or tummy, schedule or not, spank or time out) this is the choice that we made and if you do not agree with it i'd rather not know :)

another "hurdle" was explaining this to big sister :) i do not ever want there to be a hint of competition, jealousy or comparison between them... we explained to both of them (we told them together) that God has gifted everyone differently! and that's how it is for the girls - we see makenna excelling athletically and socially, whereas delaney tends to be quieter and more academic. and that's not to say that we are labeling them and they will always be that way! makenna LOVES science and math - delaney has a passion for reading - but we will continue to expose them to everything and give them opportunities to pursue anything they want! sometimes i feel, throughout my childhood, i was "labeled" as "the singer" and told that was what i "had" to do - it was my "gift" - that was my future... but looking back, there were several things i could have done well (i was somewhat of an athlete - ok, stop giggling...) but it was stressed that music was my "thing". i want my girls to know that whatever and whoever they want to be is fine by me and their daddy - my goal for them is to grow into loving, generous, compassionate, faithful Godly women. career path is totally secondary.

so pray for my sweet little peanut - she looked so small today with her big backpack and bow :) pray for her teacher, ms. volkmer (who, i've been told, is an awesome Godly woman herself!) and that she will integrate and transition smoothly into her class...

and MY prayer is, for all of us moms, that we would never cease in praying for our precious children... that we would, even now, begin to "release" them to the will of God - their futures as well as the present. pray that we would continue to mold them into His image - the days are so short! today i feel i lost a whole year. little laney is one step closer to being out of my reach... i pray for each of us to be the Godly examples for our little ones, even in the midst of the drudgery of daily life, to love fully and wholeheartedly the little ones with whom God has ENTRUSTED us. we are so blessed!!

a personal mission

i have been so fired up over the past few days... i am on a personal mission to see to it that sarah palin becomes our next vice president!!! i have become more and more disgusted with the media in this country (news sources, magazines, websites, etc.) and their portrayal of her. and it's made me so defensive of her! i think it's because SHE is ME in so many ways... a loving mother despite her childrens imperfections & challenges, a faithful wife who loves her husband, so very passionate about the things that truly matter in this country... i am impressed and inspired by her - for the first time, someone in politics who reflects my beliefs and is not ashamed to admit it!

i also found a fabulous blog by another awesome mom who is just as excited (if not more!) :) please check it out! www.moms4sarahpalin.blogspot.com - she's got all kinds of info and links and great commentary on the election and the coverage of it all... the liberal establishment in this country would like to think that we, as Godly women, do not have a voice or are afraid to make it known. i believe that it is well within our rights to speak out against injustice and this treatment of sarah palin is an absolute travesty! i don't know if they hate her more because she is a republican or because she has been outspoken about her christian faith... for the sake of our nation, please join me in doing everything we can to help mccain/palin get to the white house!! we cannot have barack obama as our next commander in chief!